HOTTIES,

 

It's not over till the fat lady sings and when we're on WW we can't stop as long as we're fat ladies. 

 

I've had to give up some things in my life to focus on me and my health.  I'm still working at Kohl's and I'm still demonstrating but I'm not holding any workshops.

 

I have GOT to get to goal and more importantly I need to lose a significant amount of weight before Jon and I go to the Grand Canyon in May.  He wants to ride a burro down to the bottoms and even if I get under 200 pounds I don't know if I can do it but we'll see.

 

I hope you join me on this journey again.  I sure miss the HOTTIES!

 

Love to all of you!

BTW here's a picture of Jon

 

 

     Today I learned that running 3 miles on a 3% incline earns me 4.5 APs and I found out that after I run the first 1 1/2 mile it's a breeze to run the rest. I should sleep well tonight.

We all know that we’re here to help and encourage and to inspire one another but we also know that we’re the only ones who can make the changes that make us successful and that’s a good thing. How awful would it be if our destiny were in the hands of another person?

Sometimes we need to stop what we’re doing and get in touch with our goal again.
You’re already skilled at getting what you want. Ever since you were a baby you’ve been practicing and perfecting that skill. It is so much a part of you that you don’t even realize it is there. Because of that the process sometimes leads us in undesirable directions. You become really good at getting what you want or what you think you want.

You can turn this situation around by consciously deciding exactly how to direct your mind. That will focus the enormous creative effective energy in you toward what ever purpose you desire.

The key to living with fulfillment is to intentionally control the process of getting what you want. Once you make yourself aware of it, you’ll realize you’ve been doing it all your life. When you add some focus and direction then you achieve your goal.

 My good friend HOTTIE Shelly asked us all to list a couple NSVs each day as I quote, " I think it would be good for us as a group to celebrate our daily successes. What if each day we all list 3-5 personal achievements or victories here on our thread? That way, we'd be forced to find something positive about ourselves each day, instead of spending so much time beating ourselves up."

 

  She's right you know! How did she get to be so smart?

 

So I decided to go a step further and include it on my blog. My NSV list is dedicated to Shelly.

Lots of love to you Shell!

As you make your way along your weight loss journey, you may find
you have a recurring fear: What if the weight comes back after I
reach my goal?

Research shows that it's a well-founded fear because most people
that lose weight regain it, and more. But there are positive steps
you can take to ensure that it doesn't happen to you:

-- Monitor your weight so that you will be able to stop any gain
early on. If you're not watchful, it can sneak up on you all too
easily.

-- Your new, lighter body doesn't require as many calories to
sustain itself, yet it's easy to slip back to your old portion
sizes. Keep portion size in mind, and consider making a habit of
leaving a few bites of food on your plate as a reminder.

-- You likely started exercising more to lose weight, and if that's
the case you'll need to keep it up to maintain your weight loss.
The good news is that it doesn't have to be done all at once; it's
accumulative through your day. Walk further, take the stairs,
however you enjoy it.

When you reach your goal, you'll want to keep an eye on your
weight, watch your portion sizes, and keep moving so that you can
continue to enjoy all you've accomplished.

  Okay so I've been sick a few days. I was doing well staying OP and earning at least 2 APs each day until I got sicker than a dog last Wednesday.  Wow was I sick!  I couldn't eat anything for several days no matter how many times I tried it just made me feel worse.

 

 

   It’s time to sit down and reflect on my journey.  I guess in the grand scheme of things my journey has been pretty normal in terms of weight loss. I’ve had a lot of tests and trials throughout this life changing event. At first it wasn’t like a life long change at all it was a race to lose weight. Now that the weight is coming off so slow I’ve come to realize this IS a life change and not something that’s meant to happen over night. And as long as I keep losing I’m not so concerned about how long it takes if I can lose at least 5 lbs a month.

 

   The scary part about losing the weight is that it draws attention to me and since I’m losing slowly maybe men won’t notice as much. I hope.

So why does that bother me? It’s one of two reasons. One being that I was Miss Illinois Runner-Up in 1976 and the winner of many pageants in Illinois between then and 1980 and with that goes along a lot of pressure to be a winner in all aspects of the word. First and foremost in outer beauty.  I’m not thin anymore but still beautiful to some

 

   However the second reason is probably the real reason why I sabotage my weight loss efforts and if I don’t sabotage this journey I will no less keep it at a snails pace. I was raped in a park by a strange man when I was 8 years old and I was 16 years old when I remembered it. Then I suppressed it again until I was diagnosed with Agoraphobia in 1980. That’s when the pageants came to an end.

 

   After I began extensive therapy to fight the life-draining panic attacks and thoughts of suicide; pieces of the puzzle started falling into place for me.  For a long time I didn’t know why I was so afraid of men even my father and my brothers when they had never done anything to me but I knew there had to be some reason why I avoided them.

From the time I was 12 years old men would wolf whistle and shout out things to me when I walked by. I didn’t know it was something men did all the time to all women but it scared me bad enough that I’d walk 3 blocks out of my way to avoid a construction site or a group of men.  I’m still not completely okay with the way men are but I can only change myself so I work past it.

 

   Now I do my best to focus on my contributions to my daughters and women in general. I think that most women suffer from a lack of self esteem and settle for less than they deserve in all areas of life whether it be in the work force, as a friend, a significant other, as a mother, daughter and wife.  As a woman you should NEVER lose sight of who YOU are. You MUST be true to yourself and you MUST put yourself and YOUR NEEDS BEFORE OTHERS.  It may sound selfish but unless you are the woman that God called you to be then how can you expect to be that person to others?

 

   My favorite quote on self esteem is this: You will only allow yourself to have that which you BELIEVE you deserve.

This journey is more than weight and outward beauty. It has everything to do with total beauty.

Okay I had a little gain this week.  It could be worse and I'm not going to let it keep me down.  Here's a sweet message from my Hottie friend Liz.

 

My few words for you about this, are strength is the willingness to preserver when failure seems to be an the only option. Success is finding the strength to overcome your own failures. You are strong enough to have a bad week, I know it, we all do.

  I've been following plan but something is amiss. I sneaked on the scales the past 3 days and each day the same. It looks like I've gained at least a pound. How could that happen?  Today I wanted to go off program but so far I still have 7 pts to spare which won't get used because I'm working at Kohl's tonight. 

 

   I still have time to force in some water so that's what I'll do at work tonight. Hopefully tomorrow won't be as bad as I think it will be at the scale and I'll start following the 8 good health guidelines then.

   This program has GOT to work. So I guess I'm still trying to figure out how.

Love to me.

 

Thank you HOTTIES for all of your inspiration. Truly without all of you I probably would have given up today.

Love to all of you!!!

 

  I'll post this large for my blind friends. Tee hee

 

 

   What is it about the stress that causes me to eat? I know that when I get upset I turn to food and I think it may be a way of getting my mind off of what's really bothering me and a way to hide from something I don't want to deal with.

    I learned growing up that I can't run or hide from conflict and that I must face it head on. Well me and the HOTTIES have faced the demon and now we're moving forward.

   I stayed below my FPs this past week but I don't feel very optimistic about WI tomorrow. I'm pushing water today and I will stay at my daily point allowance today without using FPs or APs and see if that helps get me back on track.

   I really have not blown it by any stretch of the imagination; I just don't like how I handled things.

Each day brings a new lesson. What really matters is what I do with it and how it affects my future.

 

   I’m feeling very overwhelmed right now. I actually ate 3 small snack size candybars that have been sitting in my desk drawer. I have to deal with what is bugging me but right now it’s very difficult.

   I need the HOTTIES to get through this and hopefully all will be okay in a few days.

 

   HOTTIES must stick together!

 

 

 

 

 

   Have you ever eaten something or lots of somethings and not recorded them?  I know that my journal is a tool for me to help me stay on track.  Yesterday I worked so I had a 5p breakfast and I took a medium apple for my break.  I was so hungry when I got off work at 2:00 that I just wanted to drive through McDonalds. Then I thought no, I’ll drive through Taco Bell, then NO, I’ll go to Best Wok, my favorite Chinese restaurant.  So all of these ideas are running through my mind and I couldn’t decide which one I want to blow my diet with. (Yes I still think of it as a diet when I’m hungry) But for whatever readon I couldn’t decide except that I ruled out Chinese because of the salt.  I had to return a couple of things to JC Penny which was good because it gave me a chance to slow down my thoughts and think about what I wanted.  I ended up coming home and eating what was left of the Cheesy Noodle Dish I made last Sunday that I wasn’t so impressed with.  That wasn’t enough so I had the last WW carrot Cake = 1p (not the smart ones) and an entire cup of low fat ice cream. I almost went back for seconds on the ice cream but thought better of it because Ed was coming over in a couple of hours and I knew we’d be going out for dinner.

   Ed arrived about 4:30 and I told him I wanted to go to Rocks for dinner where the burgers are juicy and bigger than the bun and the nachos are to die for but by the time we finished our shopping I wasn’t hungry. I guess my late lunch finally registered.  

   Still we went to Perkins and I ordered the short stack- 3 buttermilk pancakes and regular syrup. I know they have low-fat syrup but I didn’t ask for it.  So dinner came and went and I couldn’t eat all of my pancakes but I knew I had done a lot of damage already that day.

   Well lo and behold I finally got around to recording my points and I was shocked to realize that I’d only gone over my DA by 3p!!!  I still have 21 Flex Points left until Monday night so surprisingly I’m doing pretty well.  And if my sneak peek at the scales this morning doesn’t change then I’ve met my Valentines Day Challenge!!!  YIPPEE!!!! 

   I will try to journal my food after each meal from now on. I should not have waited until this morning to do that.  Ed brought my treadmill into the house last night and the darn thing is too big to get into the living room from the family room.  Even if we could get it around the doorway in the kitchen it won’t fit between the cabinets and the counter.  Darn it! It’s too big for the family room so I may see if we can take the handrails off of it to move it.  Until then, I’ll just use it in the family room and start earning some APs.

---

   Oh yea I almost forgot to mention I chipped my front tooth years ago and my dentist adds a composit to fix it and Friday night it fell off which it does once in a while. If I'm careful not to tear open wrappers with my teeth or chew on pens which used to be a nasty habit then I can go almost 2 years before I lose it.  I'm almost ready to ask him to just cap the darn thing and be done with it.  I was so self-concious of it at Kohl's yesterday that I hardly spoke to anyone. I didn't smile much at the customers either. I just did a lot of grinning.I must have looked like a real dork!

 

  Tonight I tried out the Spiced Chicken Cacciatore from the WW recipes online.  It was pretty tasty for just 8 points.  Even my 21 year old daughter likes it.  The recipe makes 4 nice size servings so I saved the other 2 servings using my Food Saver and froze them for later in the week.  I can just plop one in a pan of boiling water and wa-la I’ll have dinner.

  I bought the ingredients to make the Snazzed-Up Snicker pie Kim posted so I can make that tomorrow.  I’ll report my opinion and the reactions of my DBF and DDs tomorrow.

  I’ve noticed the past 2 days that I’ve really started eating more of my FPs than normal. I need to cut back a little and not take so much liberty or I’m afraid that I won’t reach my goal.   I’m going to run/walk on my treadmill tomorrow to help with the extra points I’ve had and to help lower my cholesterol. 

  I got the report back on my lab tests and it shows that I’m still borderline diabetic. My cholesterol is 206 which is down from 220. My HDL is 37 and my LDL is 140.  I need to up my HDL (good cholesterol) to at least 40 and lower my LDL (bad cholesterol) below 130.  For the second time my CBC shows that I have low white blood cells but I really have no idea what that means.  I’ll have everything re-checked in 3 months.  By then I hope to be down 30 lbs. and that should help everything.

  I have to watch my sweets to bring down my blood sugar and follow a low fat/cholesterol diet. I think WW is a good choice.